I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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