There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
