I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
