so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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