I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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