Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I looked at my own cervix.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
