Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she looked like the before picture.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize