How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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