Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize