If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
