Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
