He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
