yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
