Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
party gras won. party gras always wins.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
