Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Everything about him screamed your future.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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