At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's paint friendship bongs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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