and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
