So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
