guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
