Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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