Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
