508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
