She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
