Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
