and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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