She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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