idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
