Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
