easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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