Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
