You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
