Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
