Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Blood and glitter go together right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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