I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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