i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
