You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
