Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
