I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This toilet bowl is my home.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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