Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
