Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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