i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
