Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
