So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
