She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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