I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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