I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
