Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
