Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize