Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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