I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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