my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
