lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
