he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
