She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
