Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Jerry, you need to find god
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We have so much sex to catch up on
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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