how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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