he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize