i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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