Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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