I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize