Whod you bang
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
