Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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