shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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