yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
