They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
