at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
