I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize