U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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