I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
