at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
