it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
