You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Im part way to drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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