i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize