i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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