So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
