On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
