That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
