so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
