Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
